East side Jargon about home,family,sports,fun,and blogging

Location: T-Town, Alabama, United States

Retired enjoy bloging

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Hi gang, what a shock I had today! I have not been grocery shopping on years. It will be years before I go again. I can’t belive the prices. For a little can of chilly they wanted $1.50. I said no way! Course I no they don’t care. Some one will buy it.

Gallon of milk 2% $4.29
8 hot dog buns $1.50
Small Pickles $1.50
Small ketch $1.50

Folks we are in the wrong business! I spent $80.00 dollars and scratched my head. The cats and dogs are gona eat well I am eating cheese sandwiches the cheese was in sale! I will have to go back and get prune juice to off set the cheese!

Advise from kids!
“Don’t pick up your sister when she is holding a baseball bat.” Joel, age 10.

Thought for the day, Think of an excuse for why I didn’t have any coupons today at the store!

Word for the day; Flume.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Hi gang, I have had a good Tuesday, hope you have too. I played golf today. Wet, Wet, Wet! Had to hit and move before you sank in! Had a pretty good round, will have to remember to hit and move.

I came home and one of the girls x was here. I got bent out of shape. I just don’t like the jerk. Him staying away suites me just fine.

Anyway I have not calmed down yet! Another day has flown by; it would be nice if we could save a little bit for a rainy day! I came within two inches of making a hole-in-one today! Best shot I have had in a year. I have never had a hole-in-one it would be nice.

Advice from kids!
“Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.” Lauren, age 9.

Word for the day; Melee.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Hi gang, it has been one of those days! The dogs barked at the cats most of the night, so not much sleep. I did get my walk in at 5:30am and vacuumed the house. That is about it! I need to go to the store. We are out of milk, and bread. Maybe tomorrow, I have such a head ach tonight.

I tried to get around to visit every one today with out much luck. My browser kept saying can’t find server? I don’t know what is going on. I ran a virus scan and didn’t find any thing! Better luck tomorrow!

Advice from kids!
“If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.” Naomi, age 15.

Word for the day; Wicket.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Hi gang, this old weekend is closing fast. We are under a sever weather threat so I thought I had better post and get of this puter! As usual were did the time go? I guess when I draw my last breath I will say the same thing.

Has every one had a good weekend I hope so? Today is Dawns Birth Day so every one-drop by and wish her the best, K!

Not a lot going on today. I am on CH. 8 in the Stand. Every time I try to read I get sleepy. I don’t like to take a nap during the day. I have too much trouble sleeping as it is. So I read a little and put it down.

This morning at church I noticed a young girl I say early twenties, come in and sat across the isle from me. She caught my eye because she was wearing a green and white flowered dress. The material reminded me of my child hood when they sold flower in pattern sacks. People would make dresses out of them. I remember they were green, blue, and red. I am sure some of you might remember.

My grandma had several of these dresses, and the little girls had them to. Funny how something like that comes to you! The girl at church was lovely, clear ivory skin. Black hair, rosy checks. She gave me a smile that sent shivers up my spine. I said to my self, careful young lady my wife is in Nebraska!

Thought for the day, someone said, “every cloud has a silver lining.” My grandpa use to say, son there is only one rooster per hen house! It took me many years to understand what he was talking about!

Word for the day; Peccaries.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Hi gang, Saturday floating on by! Hope every one has had a good day. It stopped raining long enough for me to get the grass cut. It needed it bad. I suppose I will be in the doghouse. Last week was vacation Bible school at church. Megan, and Allison went. Tonight they were singing at church I am supposed to be there taking pictures. Old Author showed up! My hip feels like I have a spike in it! Just did not fell like going.

Other than cut grass I have done little of anything else. I forgot to tell you I started reading “THE STAND” my sister-in-law had the uncut version. That sucker is 1152 pages long! This will be by far the largest book I have ever read.

I finished the Trilogy of Lord of the Rings some time ago and some one said how good the Stand was so I have been looking for it. Gezz, I hope I don’t drop it on my toe!

Blogsurfing you guys today I could not belive all those who have put up audioblogs on there sight. That cuts me out! I still have the 56k modem no good for that or video! If every one goes to audio I will be talking to myself again!

Advice from kids!
“Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.” Kellie, age 11.

Thought for the day, it accrued to me today that life is so simple. All you have to do is be!

Word for the day; Sauterne.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Hi gang, we made it! Friday the day the eagle flies. Has every one had a good week? Oh how I use to look forward to the weekend. Then I started working retail and every day was the same. I hated split days off! In fact I hated working weekends period! It always seamed people were rubbing you face in it because you had to work.

Unless you owned the business I would suggest you stay away from Retail! My granpa use to say son, working weekends is like picking blackberries. You have to watch out for the snakes!

Another famous saying of granpa was son, show me a person who likes working weekends and I will show you a person who had nothing to do anyway!

The rain let up long enough for me to get my walk in. On my walk I noticed how polite and clean my neighbors are. There is a sign half buried by a tree that says, $500.00 fine, No Dumping! My good neighbors dumped their trash behind the tree away from the sign! Now I ask you was that not nice of them!

Advice from kids!
“You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.” Armir, age 9.

Thought for the day, a week with no sunshine is like a week without you!

Word for the day; Swath.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Hi gang, moving right along this week! We are starting to get webfeet around this area. Rain, rain, rain, and more on the way! The grass needs cutting and is to wet. I bet the farmers are starting to say enough. If we get much more rain we will have to plant rice.

My wife and her family got away this morning around 9:30am. They were going to spend the night on the other side of St. Louis. She has to be back at work on the seventh of July. I hope they have a good time; this may be her mom’s last big trip. She is eighty- seven and has cancer.

Linda is back at work and ready to come back. They may come down late summer, for another week. She gave me a picture of her family by Olin Mills. My two grand sons are still living at home. They just have not found Miss right yet!

Thought for the day, “It took me seventeen years to get 3000 hits, I got that many in one afternoon playing golf.” Hank Aaron.

Word for the day; Hinny.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Hi gang, hope every one had a good hump day. We had rain on and off all day. I did get my walk in and that is about it. Tonight is it; my wife and her mother are heading to Omaha Nebraska in the morning. It looks like they will be in rain most of the way. Not much going on. But I received this today. Sort of shows what a mess we have made of things.

"And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one
year, I am going to make it
rain and cover the whole earth with water until
all flesh is destroyed. I
want you to save the righteous people and two of
every kind of living
on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to
build an Ark".

In a flash of lightning, God delivered the
specifications for an Ark. In
fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and
agreed to build the Ark.
"Remember" said the Lord, "You must complete the
Ark and bring everything
aboard in one year".

Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds
covered the earth and all the
seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord
saw Noah was sitting in
front yard weeping.

"Noah," he shouted. Where is the Ark?

"Lord, please forgive me!" cried Noah. I did my
best but there were big
problems. First I had to get a permit for
construction and your plans did
not comply with the codes. I had to hire an
engineering firm and redraw
the plans. Then I got into a fight with
Occupational Health & Safety
Commission over whether or not the Ark needed a
fire sprinkler system and
flotation devices.

Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was
violating zoning ordinances by
building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to
lodge a Rezoning
with the City Council & it is now with the Land
& Environment Court.

I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark,
because there was a ban on
cutting down trees to protect the Kookaburra. I
finally convinced the
Dept. of Conservation & Land Management that I
needed the wood to save the
kookaburras. However, National Parks & Wildlife
won't let me catch any
kookaburras,so,no kookaburras. The carpenters
formed a Union and went out
on strike. I had to negotiate with the Dept. of
Industrial Relations
before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer.
Now, I have 16 carpenters
on the Ark, but still no kookaburras.

When I started rounding up the other animals, I
got sued by the RSPCA.
They objected to me only taking two of each kind
aboard. Just when I got
the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I
could not complete the Ark
without filing an Environmental Impact Statement
on Your proposed flood..
They didn't take very kindly to the idea that
they had no jurisdiction
the conduct of the Creator of the universe.
Then the Dept. of Land and
Water Conservation demanded a map of the
proposed new flood plain. I sent
them a complete set of Mel ways & Gregory's.

Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint
filed with the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission that I am
practicing discrimination by
not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!
The Australian Taxation
Office has seized my assets, claiming I'm
building the Ark in
preparation to flee the country to avoid paying
taxes. I also have to
for the registration of my ABN for the GST.

I just got notice from the Waterways Authority
that I owe them some kind
user tax and that I failed to register the Ark
as a "recreational water
craft." I also need a Boat Drivers License but
they are debating about
to classify the craft.

I am getting continual visits from Green peace,
the RSPCA, Work cover, the
Sheriff's Office and numerous other government
departments. Finally, the
Australian Council for Civil Liberties got the
courts to issue an
injunction against further construction of the
Ark, saying that since God
is flooding the earth, it is a religious event
and therefore

I really don't think I can finish the Ark for
another 5 or 6 years Noah

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine
and the seas calmed. A
rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up
hopefully - "You mean you
are not going to destroy the earth Lord?"

"No," said the Lord sadly. "I don't have to.
The bureaucracy has beaten
me to it! I'll send a drought instead."

Thinking People? Think ethics,
integrity and professionalism.
Thought for the day, we can’t work at peace part time!

Word for the day; Sinuate.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Hi gang, how do you spell relief, two thunderstorms! One this morning and another this afternoon. Oh how good it feels! I did get the grass cut and the entire trimming done. Now I am pooped! Awoke this morning at 3:30am, sneezing and cuffing, don’t know what that was all about. Any way I am hitting the sack early tonight. Look out hump day! I hope all of you have a good one.

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?


It should be open when she brings it to you!

Advice from kids!
“Never hold a Dust buster and a cat at the same time.” Kyoyo, age 9.

Thought for the day, it sure feels good to look around after a hard days work!

Word for the day; Copious.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Hi gang, it was hot today playing golf! It is a tough job, but hey, someone got to do it. Might as well be me! I started the round good. Bogie, bogie, bogie, double, triple, double, bogie, triple, triple---- from here it was like a pinball machine! I never got mad. Well one time I yelled something about #2! That little white ball makes a donkey out of me every week. The worst part, I pay to do this!

I am convinced golf was developed for humans to pay for their sins! Let me give you an example; I hit a 9 iron 130 yards. Today I had a 130-yard shot across the corner of a lake, ball below my feet. So I aimed a little left, hit the ball to the right, across the lake 20 yards past the pin? I dropped another ball same spot same club. I hit the ball straight at the pin, 20yards short. The ball hit the lake bank and rolled to the edge of the water?

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks... It was called Witchcraft......

Today it is called Golf.

Advice from kids!
“Puppies still have bad breath even after eating Tic-Tac.” Andrew, Age 9.

Thought for the day, just because you pay for something doesn’t mean it’s good for you!

Word for the day; Hobbledehoy.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Hi gang, Goosen scores again! RSA is happy tonight. Phil blew it on 17th hole. He gave it a good run but second best is not good enough to dethrone Tiger!

Tigers worst ever open, but I’m sure he feels better knowing Ernie, and Sing didn’t jump on him.

Well less start tuning up for the British Open at Royal Tyrone!

I hope every one has had a good weekend. Housework is all caught up, grass cut, kids happy. That sweet thing thinks all Fathers are super sized today.

I never knew my Dad. He was killed in a mining accident when I was six. From all my Mom told me of him; we probably would not have gotten along. Course I didn’t get along that well with her either! Sometimes I can’t even get along with myself!

No rain tomorrow! I have a 9:40 T-time. FOUR!

Advice from kids
“ Don’t sneeze in front of mum when you’re eating crackers.” Mitchell, age 12.

Thought for the day, losers are people too!

Word for the day; Wreak

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Hi gang, hope everyone got caught up today, sure did fly by! Phil is looking good. What about Fred Funk, he is hanging in there. He hit some good shots today.

Tiger, Tiger, what can we say that you haven’t already said it! What will happen tomorrow if the wind blows! Par good wind up winning this thing!

How about the new record, Father and son make the cut! Another first on tour.

A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day she calls home and a strange woman answers. Wife: Who is this? Maid: This is the maid. Wife: We don't have a maid. Maid: I was hired this morning by the man of the house. Wife: Well, this is his wife. Is he there? MAID: He's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I assumed was his wife. The wife is fuming. She says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000? MAID: Of course! What will I have to do? WIFE: I want you to take my gun from the desk and shoot him and the woman he's with. The maid puts the phone down. The wife hears footsteps, then gunshots, then more footsteps. MAID: What do I do with the bodies? WIFE: Just drag them out and throw them in the swimming pool. MAID: There's no pool here.
A long pause.
WIFE: Is this 832-4821?

Thought for the day, how often have you thought you were right and were wrong?

Word for the day; Requiem.

Friday, June 18, 2004

Hi gang, we made it FRIDAY! I hope every one has had a good week. My daughter left this morning going back to Chicago. The week has flown by. It seams like she just got here!

I forgot about Fathers day, as she was getting ready to go she handed me a present. It was oil panting of Augusta Nationals Hogan’s bridge and the green behind it! I am still in shock! How beautiful it is with all the azaleas behind the green.

My man Fred Couples is gone! He didn’t make the cut. What about David Duvall + 24! Tomorrow is move day; can Tiger get in the zone? Phil looks good can he stand the pressure? Oh what a weekend we have coming up!

Proof of Age

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply
for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license

to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had

left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry,

"I will have to go home and come back later."

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."

So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair.

She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for

me," and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his

experience at the social security office.

She says, "You should have dropped your pants... You might have

gotten disability too."

Now you know how I got on disability! (Wink)

Thought for the day, did you pick yourself up and start over again today!

Word for the day; Static’s.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Hi gang, rain, and rain everywhere! Us Open rained out, how is your man doing. I was pulling for Fred Couples, and he is +5. Well all I can say is he is 3 behind Tiger!

One thing for sure it is going to be a long weekend! Did you see how high some of the scores were? Nick Fildo was at + 11.

Bad news here today! Three police officers were shot to death. It happened about 1:30pm. They were serving Warrants. I thought of Brent, right away. People can be so stupid! My heart goes out to all there families.

I had a good joke for tonight but will save it for tomorrow.

Thought for the day, always live for the moment. It may be your last!

Word for the day; Exacerbate.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Hi gang, the rain didn't miss today. I did get the grass cut thankful for that. It was already too high. My daughter and family went to the lake today. They did get caught in the rainstorm. Linda said the rain has followed her from Chicago.

Last oddss I herd on the US open; Tiger 3 to 1 my man Fredd 50 to 1! It should be a good golftournamentt. I can hardly wait.

Did any one other than me get in the dog-house today? I left the close on the line during the rain! Did I get an ear full!

An optimist and a pessimist

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.

For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.Theyy fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"Yes, I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

Thought for the day, some days you just can’t do any thing right!

Word for the day; Swatch.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Hi gang, the rain missed us all day! I got a round of golf in. We had a threesome and hooked up with a guy from Cincinnati Ohio. Man he could play golf. He hit a driver and a iron, no fairway-woods. I bet he hopes he does not see us again! I was all over as usual.

Has every one picked their man to win the US open? Tiger is still the man to beat! I sure would like to see Fred Couples win!

I ran across a list of short books for all you book worms!

World's Thinnest Books

FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac










Thought for the day, there is always a place to find peace, go there often!

Word for the day; Lycee.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Hi gang, not much going on today. Thunder showers most of the day so far. I think my grass has grown an inch! We have the rain coming up from the Golf.

Brenda wrote about the Kudzu plant, the vine that grows a foot a minute. Today I started gathering data on another fast growing plant. We have them everywhere!


I think they are beautiful, and I love the smell. The smell can over power you if you are among a lot of them. I have often wondered why no one ever made a perfume from them.

Mimosa is a medium-sized tree that is a continual problem along some roadsides and streams in the Smokes. It seeds prolifically and resprouts quickly when cut. Mimosa seeds may remain viable for 50 years or more. The tree is native to Asia and was introduced to this country in 1745. Park crews have spent up to 600 work hours per year controlling mimosa

(m m ´s ) (KEY), any tree, shrub, or herb of the genus Mimosa of the family Leguminosae (pulse family), chiefly tropical plants. They usually have feathery foliage and rounded clusters of fragrant pinkish flowers atop the branches. Mimosas are used for ornamental purposes in warm regions. The yellow-flowered plants sold as mimosa by florists are usually of the related genus Acacia (see acacia). Most widely known of the mimosas is the sensitive plant (M. pudica), considered a weed in the American tropics but cultivated as a greenhouse annual elsewhere because its leaves fold up and collapse under stimulus (e.g., touch, darkness, or drought) until the whole plant may assume temporarily a thoroughly wilted appearance. It is now naturalized in many warm regions and grows wild in the Gulf States. The name sensitive plant is also applied to other plants of this family that show similar movements. Mimosa is classified in the division Magnoliophyta, class Magnoliopsida, order Rosales, family Leguminosae.

Weed Description: A prostrate perennial that develops into a tree and may reach 40 feet in height. Found throughout the southeastern United States along roadsides, woodland edges, in turf, and also most recently as seedlings or sprouts in many no-till crops.

Silk Tree Mimosa
Albizia julibrissia
Family LeguminosaCharacteristics:
* Leaves compound with many leaflets, 9-12".
* Leaflets curved-oblong, 1/4" wide.
* Flower pink, delicate, silky, making the tree look as if it's covered with silken threads.
* Height: To 40'.
Natural History:
* Habitat: Mostly planted as an ornamental tree.
* Range: Iran to Japan but naturalized in the southeastern United States.
* Introduced from Asia
This is the most common around our area. I have one in the back yard that is forty feet tall.

Would you believe by 1997 the US was paying $200,000,000.00 to control these plants. I wander what the cost is today?

Thought for the day, I saw a deer sleeping in a black berry patch this morning!

Word for the day; Splutter.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Hi gang, we finely got some rain! Of course that’s the last thing my daughter wanted. It has rained almost every day in Chicago.

Today was a wash out! I am the only one who was not in a bad mood. I watched golf all afternoon!

I am sure all have heard of the “ten commandments of marriage”

The Ten Commandments of Marriage

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven.

But so again are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished..

Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
"It really works!"

Thought for the day, how long will it take to understand, eat for one not two or three!

Word for the day; Elohim.

Hi gang, just a short note to let you no Sat. Post was forfeited in LU of a party for my daughter Linda. We had a house full, twelve couples! I will try to post later today if not you guy's have fun.

Advice from kids!

"When your mom is mad at you dad don't let her brush you hair"! Taylia, age 11.

Thought for the day, A house full of friends make you feel like a king for the day!

Word for the day; Frowzy.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Subject: FW: Two kids
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other,
outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you
in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when
I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots
of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
The second kid replies, "Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was
born. Couldn't walk for a year."

Hi gang, the day you have been waiting for is here! I hope every one has a big weekend planed. My daughter is on her way in from Chicago. She is driving alone. My son in-law picked up an infection and is not coming.

She called from Pudaca Kentucky, and said it is hot! When she left Chicago it was cool. There high was to be 65*. Ours was 92*.

I ended last night on a sour note, and tonight-good news! Sears came out and fixed the tractor. $169.00 my cost $ .00. My son took out a service contract when he picked up the tractor, after we bought it! Now if I could just get my car out of the shop!

Thought for the day, be nice to youself, there is only one of you!

Word for the day; Nuzzle.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Hi gang, hope every one had a good day. It has been a bummer for me. I took the tractor into the back forty; hit a rock bent a blade shaft. Did I here any one say I told you so. I no I am asking for trouble cutting where it has not been cleared. Well my car has been in the shop for a week. I wonder how long the tractor will be in the shop?

We got to put this bug in a cage!

You don’t want to smash its head!

Will it bite?

What time is it?

Can we finish this tomorrow?

One last push!

Thought for the day, George, George, George on my mind! Till we meet again Ray!

Word for the day; Spasm.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Hi gang, man I am worn out! Got the grass cut, and chopped up some more trees to burn. Not fun in 90* heat. Short post to night. I hope every one had a good hump day!

So, we don't forget our worth.......

"There's one flaw in women,".................

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into His sixth day of working
overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much
time on
this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen My spec sheet on her? She has to
completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all
replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap
that can
hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything
from a
scraped knee to a broken heart -- and she will do everything with only

The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one
Wait until tomorrow to finish."

" But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this
creation that is so close to My own heart. She already heals herself
she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her
soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You
idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be
able to
reason and negotiate."
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the
cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you
you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow,
pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her

The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord.. You thought of
everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships
they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.
cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight
they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for
answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without
their family can have.They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer
their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth
or a
wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the
loss of
family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no
left. They know that a hug and a kiss can help to heal a broken heart.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They'll drive, fly,
run, or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.The heart of a
is what makes the world keep turning! They bring joy and hope. They
compassion and ideals.They give moral support to their family and
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

However if there's one flaw in women, it is that they tend to forget

Thought for the day, if a picture is worth a thousand words, why don’t we just post pictures?

Word for the day; Thule.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Hi gang, I did it again I lost my post! I ziged when I should have zaged! Got the roof cleaned, and the front. Tomorrow I cut grass and that is it until my daughter goes back to Chicago. I got this in e-mail today. I hope it puts a smile on Dasi. Face She could use a smile about now!

Anyone who has ever had a loved one in the hospital will enjoy this:

A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person
who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting
better, doing as expected, or getting worse."

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"
"Sarah Finkel, room 302."

"I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?" "I'd like to know the
condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."

"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well.
In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she is to be taken
off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement,
Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon." The woman said, "What
a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member
or a very close friend!"

" Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me shit!"

Thought for the day, we are the only ones alive who have seen Venus pass in front of the sun!

Word for the day; Laureate.

Monday, June 07, 2004

Hi gang, old blue Monday down! You should have seen me scrubbing and cleaning. I tried to use Mr. Clean on the outdoor furniture, forget it. I had to use comet to cut the grime from sitting out side all winter.

Got all the chairs and tables done, and the deck washed. Tomorrow I will clean the deck bar and chairs. Blow off the front and clean the roof. I have little branches all over the roof from the oak trees.

I need to weed the flower garden. I was surprised to see I have several little tomatoes already. I sure hope they are better than last year. Last year had no flavor.

Alison is spending the night; the boys came in like a wrecking crew! What can I tear up! This is there latest pic. My wife is in the background.

Advice from kids!
“Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells you to.” Emily, age 10.

Thought for the day, working out side should be good for my diet. I forgot to eat. I think I gained a pound!

Word for the day; Deus.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Hi gang, another weekend is just about over. I hope all of you have had a good one. As normal this weekend has flown by. It’s hard to believe that it is going on 7:00pm.
I saw the big pile up on the news of the Nascar race. What a mess. I have not heard about the Memorial Golf tournament. We left the farm with two holes to go. Ernie Ells was leading by two.

Well what has every one been up too?

Jo, my daughter came down this morning and we got my photo program working. I will try it out tonight and see how it works.

Here it is June and I am just now showing you my spring flower garden. Not much but I like it.

Thought for the day, a space in time yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Requires no conscious effort on our part.

Word for the day; Efface

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Hi gang, the wedding was so beautiful! Every thing went well and we watched them ride of in (what else) a Limo. Hum… I could get into this!

I think by now every one has heard that Roland Reagan passed! He was quite a person. They have had specials on TV about his life all evening.

After the wedding we stopped by Home Depot and I picked up some more garden tools, so you no what I will be doing this coming week.

Advice from kids!
“ Stay away from prunes.” Randy, age 10.

Thought for the day, helping others makes you feel good all over!

Word for the day; Hedonism

Friday, June 04, 2004

Hi gang, Friday night blitz! I hope each of you have a great weekend planed! I am hearing weeding bells! I had to help my wife with a weeding practice tonight, and the weeding tomorrow. I don’t think she will ask me again to help; I wanted to bring home the bride to be! Her regular helpers are on vacation, so here I am.

I hope my heart holds out! Six brides-maids, and a beautiful bride! I haven’t seen that many good-looking girls in one place in a while!

Phyllis lighting! In to days paper,


A meteor the size of a computed monitor flashed across the sky early Thursday, setting off booms that stunned witnesses.
Witnesses along a 60-mile swath of the Puget Sound region from the Tacoma area to Whidbey Island and as for as 260 miles east, said the sky light up brilliantly and many reported hearing booms as if from an explosions!

Advice from kids!
“Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. Michael, age 10.

Thought for the day, more than once today I thought of you.

Word for the day; Thule.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Hi gang; as I talk a thunderstorm is moving in. Thunder, but does not look like rain. Oh well I did get my trimming in. The last half hour I had to use a sling blade. I stopped my weed eater to get more line in the head, and the thing would not restart.

I think the drug companies must be in cahoots with weed-eater mfg.
Every one I have ever had has been like that. They just want start hot! Any way I got through, for another week.

I received e-mail today about our archenemies Osama. Take a look.

Subject: Fwd: Osama bin Laden

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to the Pearly Gates. There he was
greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across the face and
yell at him, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached and punched Osama in the nose and shouted, "You
wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison entered, kicked Osama as hard as he could and said,"This is
why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson came in and proceeded to beat Osama any times with a
long cane and said, "It was evil men like you that provided me the
inspiration to pen the Declaration of Independence!"

These beatings and thrashings continued as John Rudolph, James Monroe, and
66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the Muslim
terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and writhing in unbearable pain, an Angel appeared.
Bin Laden wept in pain and said to the Angel, "This is not what you promised

The Angel repled, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting
you in heaven. What did you think I said?"

Phyllis posted last night about a flash of light and a loud boom. It was on the news tonight. They never said how far the sighting went. But a lot of people called in. We may all be dead and replaced by robots!

Thought for the day, my granpa use to say son, if you see a flash in the night and a loud boom. Don’t be alarmed; it’s just me re-firing the steel!

Word for the day; Steenbok.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Hi gang, I hope everyone had a good hump day! Well I had to take my car to the garage this morning. It was running like a dog popping razor blades! What the old saying, about threes.

I did get the grass cut. Will trim tomorrow. After the rain making a pop run in the back was not easy. What a job I tried to give it to M. but no way Hose. The dogs think I collect their pop, they can’t wait to put more out after I have made a run!

On a more serious note. My best friend Chucks wife Susan, has got to start radiation treatments for the Brain Tumor. It has started growing again. Please keep them in you prayers, on your mind etc.

So many of us take life for granted. Fact is, we were never promised a tomorrow! I played golf with Chuck yesterday. He tore me up. You would never no, he is caring such a heave heart.

Advice from Kids
“When your dad is mad and ask you, do I look stupid? Don’t answer.” Hanna, age 9.

Thought for the day, cutting grass today, I thought of all those hurting people (friends) I know. I tried to hold each one in my heart. Just my way of saying I love you!

Word for the day; Hyoid

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Hi gang, another Tuesday has flown by. Hope every one had a good day. Didn’t get my grass cut. It rained most of the day.

Did I play golf in the rain? You would have to ask, yes, yes! I played in the rain. It rained the front nine, and we voted to keep playing on the back. We were wet any way. It did quit on the eleventh hole.

How many balls did I loose? We played a course we have not played in a while. I lost four balls! I took six old balls because I always loose balls on this course. Positive thinking!

Did I here you ask me about how many wild animals I saw? I saw one giant Bald Eagle. They are huge with there wings spanned.

Less talk a little about gender! Don’t get excited this is not sex 101!

What Gender!

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but
you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a
while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device
if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the
wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you
have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000
years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But
consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Thought for the day, do golfers who play in the rain get web feet?

Word for the day: Gobo.